


wolves, warlocks, and evildoers

by captainfile



Series: Juarez and sons Sporting Goods, Inc. [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad Albus Dumbledore, Bad Parenting, Disabled Character, F/M, Family Dynamics, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Marauders' Era, Mild Transphobia, Teenagers, Trans Female Character, Underage Drinking, canon compliant deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-09-29 18:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17208542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainfile/pseuds/captainfile
Summary: "the average child displays symptoms as early as birth, and some can present as late as the eighth birthday. I'm sorry, ma'am."





	1. wisdom

**Author's Note:**

> edits to come way later; also the disabled character tag is for oakden AND artemis cause oakden only has like one name drop but artemis is a squib, and with edits will be more of a legit squib than just whiny and self destructive. if you want a story about a squib with cool and also plot relevant powers then my tom riddle fic, ouroboros, is for you. okay, enjoy book one!

Harriet Juarez doesn't mean to cry when her newborn son Apollo names himself and his twin sister Artemis. it's just that the Inner Eye is not something that runs in her family, and the Juarez family hasn't heard much, either. eventually they conclude that the twins will always stand out, like how Laurita can control her appearance, or how Brendon can't see with his left eye.

but Harriet is a good mother. she cares for her children, even when they're difficult or rude or self-obsessed. Oakden loses his leg to an enchanted frying pan when he's five and she moves the family to the least segregated city in America. in their apartment building, kids play Quodpot and football in the atrium and there's a churro stand down the street for her husband Esteban's odd uncle Ritchie to take Jax to. little Jax loves her "uncle-uncle" and doesn't feel scared when she tells him she's a girl.

most Juarezes grow to be fairly tall, but all that hunching over brooms or cashiers tends to catch up to the elders while everyone else poses above six feet with their trophies. Harriet and Esteban's oldest, Carson, takes after his father with his appearance, but is sorted into Gryffindor with his cousin Osvaldo and holds himself with the confidence of someone who can and will win. Laurita follows Carson to Hogwarts after three years to establish herself the first female Quidditch player at Hogwarts in at least two centuries, and the first eleven-year-old on a team since her great uncle. freckled Brendon follows after a year, and then Oakden after another year.

 

there’s a lot of kids to keep track of. 

so maybe, she's doing something right, even as each child grows into their magical abilities and she doesn't consider for a moment that one of them might not be. the doctor apologizes and leaves the room to retrieve the printed summary of the meeting. Harriet reaches for her husband's hand, trying to hide her tears behind her other hand. the eight-year-old twins look between their parents, confused and concerned, but get no answer. Artemis then turns to Apollo to see if he knows anything, but he just shrugs.

"can we get churros?" Artemis wonders, and Harriet tries to laugh, but it sounds like she's crying. but they can't, because Carson's wife Felicity is in labor. Harriet ignores herself for her role for not the last time.

growing up as a Juarez, Artemis learns how to fight in many different ways. emotionally, she can stand up to bullies and defend her own honor. she learns to lie, but she also learns that honesty is the best policy. she rolls with the punches and punches right back with amazing technique. when none of the kiddie-brooms work, she makes a grossed-out face and suggests baseball. she learns that the customer is "always right" but actually usually wrong, and most importantly, she learns that she is hated by a large portion of the international magical community. the importance is that she doesn't care.

Artemis figures, after learning about squibs, that she'll never attend Hogwarts. she lives with this idea until her letter arrives. ecstatic, Harriet takes the twins to Garrick Ollivander, with no results for Artemis. the disappointed girl contains her anger so much that her hands bleed with half-moon markings.

"episkey," Harriet mutters when she sees the injury. Esteban swipes the moisture from her eyes and stands tall, guiding his children to the car.

"really, Professor, I'm worried for my daughter. I'm not sure what classes will be like for her if she has no use for this kind of knowledge."

Artemis hunches over in the roomy chair across from the Headmaster of Hogwarts and next to her father. with Esteban working extra hours for the Ministry of Magic in Britain, it's more convenient for him to meet with the Headmaster instead of Harriet. the Headmaster, Dumbledore, only smiles.

"I remember when you were sorted," the old man nods slowly, making Artemis perk up. Dumbledore smiles at her. he doesn't seem to have the largest array of facial expressions. "you were quite nervous, and you turned red when everyone cheered for you. there weren't many Juarezes in Ravenclaw at the time, but there were in all the other houses. I do love your family. I'm not sure if you know, but you do have a few relatives who cannot perform magic in any way, despite possessing the gene."

"we do have a lot of boys," Esteban shrugs. Artemis laughs a little. the Juarez "Empire", as the Daily Prophet calls it, is quite a large family with quite a large business in magical athletics. Artemis finds cousins around every street corner, her own name in every city. the family really is male-dominant, somehow, making the name live on around the world.

"yes, of course. I just want you to know that while not your entire family has attended Hogwarts, that was only a matter of Beauxbatons being the leader of European magical education until other schools provided more options. here at Hogwarts, there is a place for anyone who wishes attend. Artemis would live in whichever house she is sorted and be given a schedule as anyone else. unfortunately, I cannot offer Charms, Transfiguration, or Defense Against the Dark Arts after her first year," Dumbledore tells him.

"what would she do, in all that free time?"

Dumbledore winks at Artemis. "something tells me she's going to be very involved with our athletics organizations here, and she's free to work in the library in addition to tutoring her peers."

"Professor-"

"I advise you not to underestimate those who do not possess the same talents as yourself, mister Juarez. but you already know about that."


	2. winding

"wake up."

my ribs are being crushed, and subsequently my vital organs.

"get over it, Cynth, we only have, like, twenty minutes to Floo," my twin brother responds airily, and i roll my eyes.

"shut up," i groan, lifting myself into a plank in an attempt to scare him off. but no, Apollo and his hundred-thirty-something pounds of annoying remain on my back; barely a strain on my arms, but a strain on my head. i twist, throwing him off my bed as he laughs.

there. he's gone. i can sleep again.

"Artemis, you have twenty minutes."

mother. yikes. Apollo laughs again as i jump up to push him out and get dressed. my room is just small enough to be uncomfortable, and i share a bathroom with Jax and Esteban Junior, but i make do with the magic-proof locks that uncle Ritchie likes to use- good thing the little twins haven't figured out that only a good kick will do the trick. i shower and comb out my new violet locks to pin straight, then trip over flannel and leather on my way to grab my suitcase. it kind of undoes all the hard work on my hair, which falls into bleach-damaged spirals in odd patches.

my suitcase is packed to the brim with exercise clothes, sport magazines, and baseball gear- as well as dungbombs which are definitely not for Sirius Black's locker. the guy pretends not to know who i am, despite my near-constant anger at him and his near-constant presence at my house. there might be some in there for Apollo, too, because he's the one who keeps Sirius around.

i finish packing and leave my bags by the door of our family apartment to check in with my mother, who smiles softly and hands me a plate of her favorite English breakfast.

"love, your hair's a mess," she comments, voice high and accented as she braids the purple strands.

"as per usual," my cousin Osvaldo, visiting for the week, snorts. he's nineteen, somehow.

"everybody ready?" my father asks, settling a hat on his head and a cloak on his shoulders. i lift my luggage, only for it to be shrunk in my hands- now my entire suitcase is the size of a tin lunchbox. really, it's only for convenience, as we do have to go through twenty flights of stairs and a fireplace before we all board the train to Hogwarts.

"Cynthia," Apollo sings when it's our turn to Floo. i make a face and take his hand, holding my breath as we spin through countless fireplaces to reach King's Cross, where the Hogwarts Express waits. Apollo disappears within moments to find his Gryffindor friends, while i hang back to guide the twins for the first time. but eventually they find friends as i'm stuck wandering the train for an empty compartment. i'll be stuck with Apollo if i can't- it has happened, and it sucked.

"miss Juarez," is all the warning i get before my arm is nearly yanked off by James Potter. who knows how- his arm is so skinny. i'm wary, but humor the kid and raise my eyebrows at my brother once i'm inside their compartment.

"i can find my own, you know, i'm not really looking for a repeat of the ride home in second year," i tell Apollo. his lips purse in a thinly veiled giggle, but he at least tries to compose himself.

"well, you're here now," Peter Pettigrew shrugs from his window seat. Apollo just gives me a smug look, and Remus Lupin shrugs from next to Peter. i sit across from the stout blonde and set my suitcase on my lap uncomfortably. Apollo sits next to me and keeps giving me the same look. 

"what do you want?" i wonder, furrowing my brows.

"i'm not sure if you heard, but mom told you to sit with us."

i make a face. Apollo chuckles quietly. we're interrupted by Sirius.

"i'm back, whores," he declares, falling so his feet fall in my lap and his legs crush Apollo's lap.

"kicked my suitcase," i grumble, brushing mud off the small object. Apollo snorts. Sirius raises his eyebrows in interest, but i just toss a flat look at him and stand, throwing his dirty boots off to put my suitcase away.

"somebody got taller," the annoying beauty observes, grinning. i show him my canine, frustrated, and sit back down to stare out the window. the Hogwarts Express begins moving and making loud noises that have the children too young for school scurrying behind their parents. Apollo and i send waves to our dad, who tips his hat. "is that violet?"

"it's called fairy blood purple, and it's all over the towel she used this morning," Apollo so nobly defends me. not. Sirius' eyebrows bounce, to Apollo's amusement. sometimes my twin acts like he sees things when he doesn't, and sometimes plays innocent in something he knows more about. meaning, Apollo definitely knows i have a crush on his friend, but Sirius spends too much time being annoying for me to actually be into him. 

"in more interesting news," Remus saves, before my twin can add anything, "i'll be heading to the prefect meeting in a short while."

"Evans going to pick you up?" James wonders, accent sharp. Apollo and i exchange a glance. James doesn't know it, but Lily Evans is so smitten with him, she asked me how Quidditch works.

"irrelevant, James. uh-Artemis," Remus hesitates, remembering me because we are friendly acquaintances- cough cough, Sirius "you're Elise Greenteeth, right?" Black- "do you remember who the Ravenclaw prefect for our year is?"

"no, but Evan Thornton is the new Quidditch captain," i report. "and Leif Lexington is Hufflepuff captain."

"what about Slytherin?" Sirius asks, but he already knows the answer.

"Black," i tell him anyways, "and Tottings is Gryffindor's captain, because Kade Looper dropped out last Tuesday."

several eyebrows raise in surprise, and Apollo laughs, "leave it to Looper to be the only Gryffindor scared enough to quit."

"yeah," Peter laughs along. i shrug, and, tired, lean against my brother's arm to rest.


	3. effort

tryout week, for me, is the entire month of October. so i'm not looking forward to it for a completely different reason than my brother and his friends. as a squib, i still study- probably more so than the magical students here- so my schedule is full on top of running the entire athletics department. Madam Hooch does absolutely nothing. not that i'd ever say that out loud and risk getting fired, or something. but i do study, so i have Potions with Gryffindor and Muggle Studies with Evans- she's interested in the magical point of view of her heritage. i just think it's funny whenever the teacher tries to be nice and inclusive but they just can't.

"find your partners, students, and settle down," Slughorn calls softly as he enters the Potions classroom. i reach for my twin, who's abruptly yanked away to a station by Mister Smarter And Dumber Than He Lets On.

"he's jealous that you won that felix felicis on the last day of school," James explains, gesturing for me to join him at the station behind the pair of idiots. Sirius provides a smirk, and my lip curls in response.

"well he," i mumble to my new partner, "is gonna need a lot of it this year."

James laughs.

"he's just got a beautiful laugh, right? it isn't just me?"

i turn away from the professor scratching at an offensive blackboard to glare at Lily. she looks worried, and scurried alongside me on the way from Potions to Muggle Studies because i'm James Potter's new Potions partner and that makes me all-knowing.

"it's just you, and everyone else who's attracted to James Potter," i tell her at a regular speaking volume. she jumps, and glares back at me, but no one reacts because everyone is either asleep or has already overheard the same conversation between us every class.

"and, erm, those who can't use magic, erm, they can- no, they- some can use magic objects, if- er, sorry, ha," grimaces Professor Wiblygad, quickly erasing his words and rewriting them over and over again.

"if they're previously activated, Professor," i shout, then cough to cover a laugh when the poor man jumps in surprise and erases the whole board in a hurry.

"yes, of course, that's what i was getting at. now, remember that paper due next class," he nods, and quickly retreats into his office. students begin to wake up with the bell.

"Artemis, wait! can we walk together?"

"you're going to lunch?" i confirm with her. she nods enthusiastically. "funny, so is James. have fun!" i smile dryly and wave, disappearing into the flow of students. Lily can't seem to accept that she is interested in James, or that James is interested in her, either or- but she always needs validation that i don't always have the energy to give. not when the Pitch hasn't been mowed in over two months.

so i gear up, grab some towels from the locker room, and start digging up the giant lawnmower out of the shed. i'm already taking off my shirt to let the September breeze cool my sweat when the fancy muggle technology is out and vaguely filled with gas.

"Darlene," i hear, and sigh, leaning against the door of the shed. there's loose equipment everywhere that i have to clean up before dinner.

"i'm sure you know who i am, but refuse to go back on saying that you don't," i declare, already moving on from the gray-eyed boy in my mind to how exactly i'm going to get this all to fit again. all i can come up with is trashing half of it.

"this is a real treat," says Sirius Black, with a wide grin plastered to his lips. i make a face and go into the shed again to look for more gasoline and maybe a rag. "Apollo is worried about you, said you skipped lunch."

"Apollo can go suck a reasonably sized dick," i reply, earning a laugh that becomes clearer than a bell as Sirius steps into the shed behind me. ”besides, i ordered something from the kitchens."

"are you sure it's a good idea to come out here and work when you haven't eaten?"

i give Sirius a look. "i literally just said that i did," i tell him, bored now. he frowns, though i can just barely see it because of the dust covering the one window in here. "now go away, Sirius, i just have to clean up the shed and now the lawn in the next," i step closer to him and lift his arm to look at his watch, "four hours. no big deal." quickly, i turn and walk to where the gasoline should be, pretending i'm not as taken to the Gryffindor as the rest of our school is.

"can i help?"

"no," i respond instantly, finally digging up the plastic gas tank with a grunt and carrying it on my shoulder out of the shed. "i know you're skipping Charms, but you don't need to do it here, Black," i tell him, filling the lawnmower the rest of the way and climbing in the back.

"why do you have Apollo's schedule memorized?"

"why are you still here?"

i turn the mower on and ignore Sirius Black until he leaves. rude might be an understatement. but i do show up at dinner, and sit with my fellow sixth-year Ravenclaw girls- those who know me at least, because there's some eighty of us.

"how's your new Potions partner, Artemis?" Darlene- the real one, no thanks to Sirius Black- asks with a suggestive smirk. i tap my cheek in thought.

"James Potter?" several nods. a few lean in, a few make faces and focus on their meals. "not too bad, but i work better with Apollo."

"i don't know why they all stick to themselves. Slughorn should make us split by gender," Amelie suggests with a longing glance behind me. i, of course, always sit with my back to the Gryffindors, because the one day i did, Jax got punched in the face over at the Slytherin table. now i keep a close watch on her.

"yes. no offense, Artemis, but your brother is just dreamy," Darlene sighs. i mess with the end of my drying braid- thank Merlin for showers.

"we are twins," i remind her smugly, and she laughs.

the Ravenclaw girls are just fine. they're a little on the nosy side, but it's manageable- mostly because i tend to be, as well. gossip is widely accepted and a little bit encouraged, despite Professor Flitwick's speeches. we're more upfront about it, however- the Hufflepuffs, on the other hand, are deceitful backstabbers. which is always fun to hear about.

"there's nothing i do better than revenge," Esteban Junior snaps at his closest friend behind me. i roll my eyes.


	4. wary

"attention those interested in trying out for their house Quidditch teams," Professor McGonagall calls at the end of breakfast a week before October starts. i poke my head up as the girls around me hang theirs, discouraged. stupid Flitwick won't admit to being sexist, but he won't let girls on the team, either. "speak to your head of house for a preliminary application."

"i'm just glad you can apply, this year," i huff, but earn a look from Tamilla O'Neill. "watching is just as good as playing," i tell her.

"you practically play," she snaps back.

"i do everything else," i correct, but she rolls her eyes.

"also regarding Quidditch, Gryffindor is the best!" i hear a shout, and half the school rolls their eyes. stupid James Potter.

"hey guys," Darlene butts in, "the Daily Prophet didn't come in this morning." there's a few quiet glances to the Slytherin table. "actually," Darlene laughs nervously, "we'll talk about that later. anyone for Transfiguration?"

"see you all in history," i wave, sipping more pumpkin juice as they make their getaway.

"her-story, you mean," Darlene grins fiendishly, holding up her bag where a stolen textbook is hidden. i laugh as she runs off.

it's back to cleaning the Quidditch shed for me, which is better to do in the sweltering autumn than the cold and wet winter. not that autumn isn't rainy in Scotland. but it's only hot out, so i carry some towels out with me and manage to clear a more convenient space for the lawnmower by the time the bell rings. i'm even on time to History of Magic with Slytherin, which is always fun.

i make a beeline for Darlene and her unnecessary- but fun- knowledge, only to be yanked into a seat near the front of the classroom. Professor Binns begins his lecture, oblivious to napping students.

"what the hell?" i hiss, turning to find Evan Rosier. he puts a finger to his lips, then leans over to mutter in my ear.

"i happened to hear something in the hallway this morning," he says. i lean away and furrow my brows, then glance back at my friends as Rosier leans closer to whisper, "they were talking about something rather suspicious. i had the impression that they were followers of- well, you know."

"i think i'd know, if they were."

"i'm sure i'm not the only one who overheard. it would be a shame if that kind of thing got out, however. they'd be ridiculed, and their lives would be threatened by those who believe themselves heroes."

suddenly i understand what Rosier is threatening. if my fellow sixth years don't stop talking about You-Know-Who, even though the government's been fake for almost as long as the mysterious disappearances and mass murders have been happening, then Rosier will tell everyone falsely that we are followers of evil. that, or he'll hurt us, because it's not really a secret that most Slytherins come from families who share You-Know-Who's ideals.

"thanks, i guess," i mumble, and spring out of the chair to slide in next to Darlene. Rosier turns around to wink at me, but i don't look at him. i barely dodged the squib bullet, but it's only a matter of time. i still don't know how i've managed to fly under the radar for six years when my family is known for disregarding pureblood tradition and supremacy.

"what's that about? he's cute," Darlene whispers. my face pales. he wants to kill me, Darlene! what are you on? i open the textbook- Darwin- and take out a quill and parchment, pretending to take notes until Rosier turns to the front again. i then show my paper to Darlene, who pales.

"Slytherins threatening to hurt/banish us for talking about You-Know-Who" is written on the parchment. she folds it and tucks it into Tamilla's boot, who reads it with wide eyes and shows it to Lottie. eventually, it comes back, and there's a good six or seven Ravenclaw girls waiting to bolt from the class out of fear.

"Artemis!" Esteban Junior yells in the hallway on my way to lunch. i pat Lottie's shoulder and turn to crouch in front of my little brother. he pants at his run, then holds up his arm. it looks like it was crushed between two walls. so, i do the natural thing and drag him off to the hospital wing.

"Poppy!" i yell for the nurse, expecting the wing to be empty so soon in the semester.

"mister Black! every time!"

"my voice is lower than that," replies Sirius from beside a beaten Remus. my eyes widen, then go back to my wounded brother as Madame Pomfrey recognizes our features.

"oh, Miss Juarez," she takes a wild and correct guess, "what's the matter?"

"yeah, Mister Juarez," i crouch beside my brother, who shrugs. "cool. i don't know, but you have episkey and i don't, so," i pass the kid off to the nurse, who nods absently.

"lose your wand, Briggs?"

i'm hesitant to answer because of Rosier's threat- it's not common knowledge that i'm a squib. it's kind of like knowing where i live- it should be obvious, but it isn't. i barely keep it a secret, like mentioning it to Pomfrey on the fly just now. 

"you think i'm Lance Briggs?" i say instead, then stuff my hands in my pockets and step up to see how exactly Remus got his injuries. "what happened?"

"first of all, sorry, because his abs are much less defined than yours, and second of all, nothing," Sirius answers and takes a large gulp of Remus' water.

"i went to visit my grandmother, and tripped on the Floo back," Remus corrects. i cringe and hold myself back from asking questions- i happen to secretly know via Apollo asking me lots of questions and Remus' nickname, Moony, that the boy is a werewolf. but i don't know anything specific. it kills me. be an outcast with me, Remus! i get lonely, being the only hated one! well, that's not true, but it's close.

"poor kid," Sirius sings somberly, stroking his friend's arm as a joke. i nod and bite my lip while turning to check on my brother.

"good as new, Miss Juarez," the nurse passes Tebo off to me, and i wave to the boys on our way out.

"who was that?"

"Apollo's friends."

Tebo wiggles his eyebrows at me and asks again, obviously having overheard Apollo or I talk about his friends in private, and so stretches the syllables suggestively. right, like i'm the one who needs to explain myself.


	5. warned

i'm still fighting the shed when the Hufflepuff tryouts begin the first week of October. every year, i spend all of September just cleaning, but i usually finish before tryouts start. i guess i was caught off guard with a fuller schedule with pre-NEWT classes.

i at least have the spare brooms set out along the side of the shed, and a few old ball kits from some high shelves, so the Hufflepuff tryouts go well for the first few days. it's just that i can't work outside of the shed during tryouts, and Lexington seems especially determined to find the right team this year. so i order lunch outside nearly every day to mow the lawn and sort through random bits and bobs. i don't have to skip any classes, thankfully, as i have plenty of free periods where Lexington doesn't. it's still a rough week, and when i finally finish in time for Gryffindor, the roof threatens to cave in.

"sweet Merlin, i'm gonna kill somebody," i grumble, shaking my head and walking out into the sunlight and Quidditch players to find some planks in- well i'm not sure where to look.

"put on a shirt, girl!" one of my cousins yells in Spanish from where he's trying out as a Keeper. he's better with numbers, but we let him dream.

"dear brother, would you please save me? and the Quidditch shed?" i clasp my hands together mockingly, squinting at Apollo. he laughs, scores on our cousin without looking, and flies down to his bag to grab his wand.

"get over it, Juarez," James shouts after repeating Apollo's action. Sirius cackles, distracted, and barely taps the bludger flying by him in the air. Tottings rushes over to berate him.

"how do you think we're doing?" Apollo asks as i hand him a water bottle and put on a shirt. a very very loose shirt, because i cannot work with one of those sweat traps on, and i can barely stand in the dusty shed with much more than that. it’s not like there’s any adults around to stop me, anyways. 

"Manny sucks," i laugh, "and Black won't stop goofing off; i can hear it from in here."

"give him some slack, Cynth, his humor is his only defense," Apollo shrugs.

"i cannot believe. you could kill a man with your personality analysis," i tell him. my brother laughs, and i push him out of the shed to get back to tryouts. "you specifically are doing great. nothing to worry about. tell Tottings you're on the team."

"you know you don't actually run the athletics department, right?"

"shut up and get back to work, Cledones," i tell my brother, and finish cleaning up the shed before the sun goes down.

"you know," Lottie begins when dessert appears, but then trails off.

"what?" Tamilla nudges her, earning a pained whine.

"it's just that Artemis gets to hang out with the Quidditch boys and we don't."

"oh, come on," i groan. Lottie! i'm related to half of them! and, they all smell. i don't ogle stinky teenagers while i work- i ogle sweaty young men at professional games where i always have a good seat. it usually is in a press box with "Juarez and sons Athletics" posters everywhere. which isn't to say i have no dignity- the real pigs are the ones flying around on sticks like they're all that. the only person i compliment is Apollo, and the only person deserving of compliments is. well.

"but Sirius Black!"

"not so loud!" Tamilla hisses as Darlene, who rolls her eyes.

"what, like it's some kind of secret he's the most exquisite creature any of us have laid eyes on?" she snaps, then looks to me for support. yeah, right, like i'd admit to that.

"you know he's a dick, right?" i laugh.

"i've heard he's got a great one," Darlene mutters under her breath, which starts a wave of giggles through our group.

"yeah, and i've heard no one's seen it-"

"don't lie, love," Sirius Black chuckles, squeezing in between Lottie and me, "we were just talking about it only a few weeks ago."

"of course, Black, you always take care to show me how much of a dick you are," i tell him with fake indifference, reaching to pour myself some more pumpkin juice.

"don't be like that," the Pretty Boy pouts and settles his elbows on the tabletop.

"go back to your table, Black," i make a face. he grins. for his appearance, he isn’t all that enjoyable to hang out with. 

"not what you said last night."

"last night? oh, you mean, when you stayed the hell away from us? yeah, that was great," i nod, but Lottie and Tamilla shake their heads.

"stay, Sirius," Lottie suggests, pulling an innocent expression.

"sorry, girls," he declines, and presses a dry kiss to my cheek that has my ears burning before he walks away.

"that was embarrassing," i mumble, sipping my pumpkin juice.

"embarrassing? that was- Artemis, can i swoon for you?"

the girls all agree, sighing and gushing, when i notice something. and shit, i was too busy enjoying Sirius' attention to notice why he was doing it. because out of the corner of my eye, i see Regulus Black looking in my vague direction. i can't look up to see if he's looking at me, but judging from the fact that his brother just draped himself all over me, the younger Black is surely about to report to his parents about some sort of fraternizing with squib filth. i pale, warm ears lost, and gulp down the rest of my pumpkin juice. so Sirius knows.

"what's wrong, Juarez? not feeling well?" and just like that, it barely takes twenty four hours for word to spread, and all of my means of escape are gone. the only family member i can see is Jax, who is too horrified and inexperienced to intervene. where is Dumbledore?

"just tired, Rosier, and hoping to get to Ravenclaw Tower," i respond calmly, but the Slytherin furrows his eyebrows dramatically, mockingly.

"shouldn't you be sleeping outside, squib?"

i don't respond, frozen in place. Jax screams when she hears the words, and the Great Hall springs into Slytherins dragging the two of us out, and people trying to stop them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> make sure to take care of yourself! unlike Artemis, who is literally so dumb and also has plot armor, you can't function without food!


	6. endure

not that i’d make a dent, but i resist the urge to fight anyways- they'll use their magic and report my resilience to the corrupt Ministry of Magic. in order to avoid the attention of You Know Who and the Ministry, i have to avoid the attention of literally everyone. maybe i wasn't doing as well as i thought. damn Sirius and his family feud. damn my lack of effort. damn everything. 

"where are you taking us?" Jax demands, as if knowing will help. "we haven't done anything!"

"to the Shrieking Shack. you two have a meeting with someone special," Rosier replies smugly.

they're smart to take us off Hogwarts grounds, but there's the problem of the forty-five minute walk to reach the creepy old shack. and then the giant statues lining the walls, previously seeming to have been carved from the brick of the wall, move to stand in front of the doors.

"i trust you'll all return to dinner now?"

Professor Dumbledore has a calm voice that carries over the sudden silence in the corridor. he seems at ease as the Slytherins shrink back, rounded up by professors, leaving only a small group to trudge on. but Dumbledore stands in front of the statues and folds his hands, no wand to be seen or pointed at the attackers. Jax sobs with happiness and fear, but i just glare at Rosier and help her down when he lets me go. reluctantly. with the promise of another performance sometime. my little sister clings to me desperately.

"um, should we stick around?" i wonder loudly, somehow staying level, "it's kind of obvious what happened. i think i should take her to the Hospital Wing."

"come to my office first thing tomorrow," Dumbledore nods, English accent contrasting with my Spanish lilt.

Apollo, Tebo, and some cousins meet up with us when we walk past the Great Hall- the place is in uproar, a mess of a school, all because of me. nothing will stop here.

"you two should stay with us tonight," Sal suggests. he's in his third year and a Gryffindor. Jason is a fourth year Hufflepuff. he nods in agreement- our family is big enough to forget our siblings' names, but he's become much closer to Tebo since the school year began.

"just Jax, i think," i tell my brothers, flinging the door of the wing open and yelling my usual greeting.

"Mister Black-"

"Juarez!" i correct, setting the poor girl on the first cot i see. "she hasn't assimilated smoothly," i explain, "and a few hundred children of Death Eaters just found out i'm a squib."

"i'll stay in the common room with you, or you can sleep with Lily," Apollo adds to Sal's thought. i give him a look. "i see a dark future if you don't accept this offer," he mocks, and i roll my eyes.

"fine. let me grab some gear from my dorm. stay with Jax, i'll be right back."

i am quick to the tower and back, though it's mostly because everyone is still at dinner. not even Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris, is present to judge my swift steps up and down the magical staircases and through the bright hallways of the tower. only the paintings can judge me, though i don't linger long enough to care what they have to say.

Jax happily climbs onto my back for a trip to the Gryffindor common room, where we settle in front of the fire. Apollo sits with us, and when McGonagall comes in to check on her house, she pities us and lets us stay until she turns to leave.

"i'm sure there's some spare beds somewhere," the young professor suggests, and then leaves. but Jax and Apollo are already knocked out on couches.

it's peaceful for a few minutes. i normally spend my time before bed planning out the day ahead, but i'm able to ignore the future and examine my surroundings. i've never been in here before, and Ravenclaw Tower is weirdly chaotic compared to the soft buzz of jokes and exploding snap before everyone went up to the dormitories.

"can't sleep?"

i almost forgot Sirius Black was a Gryffindor. a shrug is my response as he comes down the steps to sit beside me. embers reflect in his gray eyes- he's too beautiful.

"we don't have much family in Slytherin anymore, so she's been having a tough time," i nod to my sister. Sirius nods in understanding.

"you know," he whispers, "i've known your name since i was seven."

"that's what i thought," i nod, lips twitching. it's only a fantasy that this is the moment he confesses his undying love.

"i asked you how much a Nimbus 1000 cost, and you said 'if you have to ask, you can't afford it' and i thought it was the cleverest thing," he reminisces. i rest my chin on my knee and stare into the fire.

"got that from Ritchie," i admit.

"don't ruin your image," Sirius teases. i roll my eyes- what a dork.

"i already did. mom's gonna have to pull me if she doesn't want Hogwarts to become a crime scene."

"damn," Sirius mutters. same, dude. "bet you think low of me."

"yeah, Sirius, i just hate you so much," i joke softly, staring blankly at the fire. "it's like this; your family is your issue, and i can't blame you for a little agitation because i know you're a good person and smarter than you let on."

"what?" Sirius stutters. i let my lips turn up slightly.

"don't go thinking i can't defend myself, though, because that isn't your responsibility. it's not even really your fault they figured it out: it's Dumbedore's."

"i- um. i shouldn't have done it, and it wasn't my intention to expose you."

i raise my eyebrows, but resist looking at Sirius. "it’s done, man, you're not self aware at all."

"Remus is a were," he jokes, but sags slightly. i roll my eyes.

"and i'm a squib; like Remus, this is my life, and if everyone knew about Remus, do you think he'd live to the next full moon?"

Sirius tenses and narrows his eyes at me. "no."

"i might not, if i'm not careful. i've been too blasé about this," i grimace and lean back to look at the ceiling, where mute painted children are spinning in circles with joined hands.


	7. wry

it isn't that I don't like my job, or owe Dumbledore, but sometimes I just think to myself that someone with magic ought to help out with the Quidditch Pitch, especially after the last game between Gryffindor and Slytherin, where the Black brothers overtly tried to send each other off their respective brooms the entire time. i didn’t attend, of course, having become a target. 

my wish is granted in the form of security as covert as the Blacks, and, funnily enough, includes one of them.

"boggling that you have to do all this without magic," Sirius mutters, waving his wand to secure a better support beam than the rotting one.

"you should take Muggle Studies sometime, seeing as you're so in love and yet horrified by the idea," I suggest, making Lily and Remus snicker. they hold the patterned canvas down while I staple it to the beam.

"actually, I've taking it since third year, thank you very much, and you had no idea, because I do all my homework myself, Evans," Sirius replies quickly, grinning at me and then the redhead. I narrow my eyes at the staples. his smile is too pretty.

"that's a lie," I remark under my breath, but he doesn't hear. Remus makes a joke about Sirius possibly doing something, for once in his life, and Lily cackles, and we move on to the next tower to repair. the Prefects are with me officially to make sure I have magic on my side, and Sirius is just hanging out, as far as I know. Apollo is with the rest of my family, huddling from class to class while I work outside. funny, because of any of us, I'm the most likely to be taken by Death Eaters, but maybe I've resigned by now, or I'm just waiting instead for when I go home. i feel like i should care, and i do, but in the stupid way i always have in which i pretend that everything's fine.

"are you ever finished here?" Sirius wonders while Lily and Remus do their best at conjuring up warm drinks and I get out some equipment for fixing the edges of the Pitch.

"do you ever see me anywhere else?" I smile, but not with my eyes. i can’t stop thinking. the thought of running, even though I myself am not a Gryffindor, seems wrong. "this would be my mistress, if I ever tried to have a genuine friend," I look around at the towers and colors and drop my smile.

"oh, who am I then?" Sirius jokes, but I furrow my brow.

"you only just admitted to me this week that you know my first name, Sirius, I'd hardly call that friendship."

nothing weird happens when me and my makeshift crew sit at the Gryffindor table for dinner. while Sirius intends on annoying me and simultaneously making me swoon, I also have to check in on Jax. she's shaken, to say the least. she takes gentle coaxing to go to class, and a push to get food, but our family is ready. 

"are we going home?" she wonders, frowning when I shrug. Apollo mirrors her for my nonchalance. maybe I do want to run, or maybe I need to fight. my gaze wanders to the Ravenclaw table, where I see my friends finishing their meals as quickly and quietly as possible with wide eyes.

"Dumbledore insists that Hogwarts is safe. this isn't the first time I've disagreed with him," I prop up my chin with my hand, and barely but surely see Sirius Black nods just slightly. "but then," I continue, observing his facial features without shame, where he has scars from jokes and accidents and he won’t say, "sometimes, nowhere is safe."

"I wish you were wrong," he whispers, unheard by the rest of the table, and when James asks for clarification, he just smiles weakly.

my impression of Sirius changes with that- not that I thought anything worse than delinquency of him before. but I certainly don't shoo him off when he asks if the far end of the couch is taken, or when he decides to join Lily and Remus in arming me with magical firepower. on a late night after a tense day, I find him in the Ravenclaw common room and walk with him back to his own with the help of the Map.

"my mom would fight. I've hidden for so long, and like i said, I don't blame you for using me to get to your brother, but I can't live in shame forever, either," I admit, then glare at a snickering painting that isn't asleep yet.

"can't we help? there's nothing shameful in a choice family, and I, of all people, should know," Sirius proposes, then narrows his eyes at some footsteps on the Map. Avery. "nox," Sirius hisses, then, "this way." we wind through a hidden stairwell, then cross three corridors and enter a broom closet before he checks the Map again. "all clear."

"I know my mom would be disappointed if we asked to come home. she's stronger than that, and she expects us to be better than our dad, but if I don't find a way to defend or redeem myself, I have to face her fake smiles, and know I don't match up."

"I'm not sure I'm the best to talk to about your mother, but maybe," Sirius slows down, frowns, "you're going to end up doing something brilliant with your life. so far, you've been an unskilled worker and one of many strange kids. but you're going to live up to whatever you've set for yourself, whether it compares to your mother or not, Artemis, and-"

I hug him, and it feels like the first hug either of us have ever had. "thank you," I mutter against his shoulder. neither of us let go for a while.

"absolutely," he nods, and presses his nose against my cheek.


	8. wherefore

when Harriet Juarez arrives at Hogwarts, her husband hot on her heels, the schools falls into an eerie silence. Apollo grabs my hand and doesn't let go, even when I let it go limp and sweaty, because he really needs to hold someone's hand, even if I'm uncomfortable. I let him do his thing while we walk to Dumbledore's office and leave the Prefects in the Gryffindor common room. Jax trips on nearly every step.

"you promised us she would have a place here, not be attacked by her own classmates-"

"children," Dumbledore clears his throat, silencing the power of the Juarez family, somehow. "do come in, have a seat, take a candy."

Jax takes two, but my brother and I skip the formality to sit.

"Professor-"

"wait just a moment. let's start at the beginning, shall we?" the Headmaster interrupts Jax, who freezes and nods. "upon Artemis' admission to Hogwarts, she was recognized as a squib, but due to rising tensions, we agreed to keep this quiet."

"rising tensions like a Dark Lord out to shame and kill my daughter, yes," Harriet points out coolly. Dumbledore smiles brightly.

"for years, we have been successful, with none but the staff being aware of her condition."

"this, as much, we already know, Professor," Apollo snaps. Harriet eyes him, but doesn't otherwise react. Dumbledore nods.

"with the arrival of your lovely, if unorthodox, younger sister, the Slytherins have been more involved in the general awareness of your family-"

I stand abruptly, while the rest of my family stares at the old man, shocked and dazed.

"so you admit to having bullies running around your school without discipline, Professor? you admit to not being able to comprehend who my sister is? you admit to not being able to let us have the same education as everyone else?" I demand, because hell, he can't blame everything on Jax, she's eleven!

"perpetrators of repeated harassment are dealt with accordingly, and with concrete evidence, miss Juarez, you must understand-"

"understand-"

"Artemis," Jax mutters, eyes wide. I sit.

"as I was saying," Dumbledore gives me a pointed look, "rising tensions in the Slytherin house have combined with observation of your family and have led to certain students staging an attempted abduction, whom I appropriately reprimanded after stopping the attack. since then, both girls have been with Prefects at all times. Artemis chose the Gryffindor Prefects of her year instead of her own, which I approved of, and Jax chose the fifth year Ravenclaw Prefects," he nods, clearly proud of himself.

"is that all?" Harriet asks. the Headmaster nods again. "Professor, may I suggest that my daughters attend some other school that isn't at war?"

"I think you'll find that no other school in Europe has such accommodations for them," he replies. I look to Esteban, hoping my dad can somehow convince Dumbledore to crack down on the behavior at Hogwarts, but he watches my mother's feet tap impatiently.

"Professor, you defeated Grindelwald, and led my class to graduation, so you must not take this as a disgrace to you, but my daughters cannot attend your school any longer. Artemis, get your things from the Ravenclaw tower. Apollo, take James, Remus, and Peter, but by no means Sirius, and gather Jax's suitcase from her dormitory in the Slytherin dungeons."

just like that.

Apollo pauses when we're set to part ways, him to Gryffindor to call on his friends, me to Ravenclaw to say goodbye to mine. "Di, it's not your fault, okay? just- I want you to know that."

"brother," I smile, but weakly. I feel weak, myself. "we all know that most of it really is my fault, regardless of my choice in the matter," I tell him, and turn to go in my intended direction. Apollo probably watches me go, so I wait until I've turned a few corridors and have reached a place with minimal paintings to fall to my knees and curl my hands into fists against the worn-down tile of the floor. tears fall freely, and my head fills with white noise, so I lose track of time and just sit, ashamed of myself and what I am.

a squib, not a citizen, not a student, not a witch. 

without time, sound, or feeling, I wallow until something brings me back to reality.

"hey, Apollo sent me so I could be helpful without hurting anyone," Sirius Black whispers, holding my hair away from my face. I close my eyes again and sit back off my feet to cover the embarrassing evidence of my breakdown with my hands. "hey, gorgeous, come on. you can do this, Artemis, we are not our parents, okay?"

I look at him, and I see him crying a little bit too, which is comforting and a guilt trip, so I pull my hands into the sleeves of my sweater and use it to sop up my mess of a face. "Sirius-"

"we are not our parents," he repeats, half to himself, probably. "come on, now, and sorry for calling you gorgeous, but you're the prettiest crier I've ever seen," he smiles just slightly and helps me stand. I shake my head, but laugh almost silently. "I can go up with you, if you want, I've got the secret code to sneaking into Lily's dormitory for Prongs' sake," he admits once we've entered the Ravenclaw common room. I shake my head again with a fading smile, because, well.

"thought you were afraid of cooties, Sirius," I narrow my eyes at him, but then turn to the staircase.

"James isn't."

it seems a longer walk than usual, and my "it's been real, folks," doesn't go over well, because Darlene starts crying, though none of the girls follow me out or help me carry my suitcase to the stairs for Sirius to intentionally turn them into an insurmountable slide. with it charmed to lunchbox size just like that, Sirius picks it up and refuses to let me carry it.

"before you go, let's visit the Pitch one last time," he suggests, which is horrible, and I tell him so, but we end up there in the dark and then in the kitchens regardless. Harriet gives me a stern look when I finally turn up in Dumbledore's office again, this time with wind-reddened cheeks and wet eyes.

"shall we?" she snaps, looking behind me to make sure Sirius hasn't followed me in. wonderful leader, less wonderful of a sweet mother. I nod, and give Apollo a hug and quiet thanks, then join hands with Jax and step into the fireplace.

"home," Jax says, and throws Floo powder at our feet.


	9. exhale

"welcome," I call when the bell above the door rings, but don't otherwise look up from where Carson has seriously mistreated the cash register. i enjoy working with him, as i’ve always looked up to him, but Brendon is way better at this when he comes in. 

"can you grab those gloves for me? I wanted to try them on the other day, but I was in a hurry."

Lucius Malfoy.

my heart catches in my throat, because this is no doubt the moment when he realizes that the squib with funny hair who was basically banished from Hogwarts is me. the only possible outcome I can see from this meeting is my torture and death, or something, so I look where he's pointing a tell him I'll get my manager, because I'm not old enough to use magic outside of school, which is true. simply a matter of age.

"Carson," I hiss, and when he lifts his head from his very old pico de gallo, “a guest needs assistance?” 

"ah, yes! those gloves," Carson smiles brightly once the pale haired man explains his purpose of being in the store. the Death Eater's wife, Sirius' cousin, looks me over with an air of recognition and vague disgust. I look down, hoping she doesn't attempt murder on the spot.

she opens her mouth to say something, expression dark, but then Carson asks Lucius for a couple sickles and she turns away.

Carson, while nearly a decade older than me, is somehow more confused than I am as we watch them leave. with a name like Malfoy, one of the more prejudiced families in England, it's a surprise Carson wasn't killed on the spot for marrying and having kids with a muggle, nor I for being a squib or for being kicked out of Hogwarts. or for associating with Sirius Black. there's really a list, which grows every day, and I try to just ignore it, which is solid, most of the time. I mutter something about freaky inbred purebloods, and Carson mutters something about sad beaten wives, and both of us go back to what we were doing before.

"it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," James Potter bellows, far from in tune, and I thank Merlin that it's a Tuesday and therefore slow besides the last-minute unemployed moms wandering around the store. "everywhere you go!"

"spare me, Potter," I beg of him with a wide smile. i’ve honestly missed my brother’s friends, these last two months out of school. 

"yes, Potter," Sirius spits dramatically, "I'm a way better singer than you," he declares, then falls into an even worse version while taking my hand and spinning me like a ballroom dancer. the Ravenclaws stopped replying to my letters after Halloween, but Apollo’s friends kept me updated. 

"this is why none of us are in Flitwick's choir," Peter remarks.

"tetilla, anyone?" Apollo swings the door of the store open, carrying a bag with surely the best cheese ever in it. I grin, and greet him and Remus, who presents pudding.

"esta comida se ve divina," I nod, and lead the teenagers into the back where they can put everything in the fridge. "I'm so ready to eat, but first, Rosa Lee's is going to fill up soon, and I have work to do, so grab me a green with-"

"mint and peach, no sugar, no cream, we know," Sirius replies before Apollo can, which is surprising, but I just roll with it, and Apollo tells me he'll grab some biscuits as well.

"before we start, I'd just like to say, I'm so glad we have this day with each other, even though the Blacks are horrendous, the Juarezes are control freaks, the Potters are too old for this, the Lupins are perpetually anxious, the Pettigrews are a touch lost, and the Evanses are always pissed off. Merry Christmas, everyone," James announces, and everyone raises their steaming mugs to the insult of their own families.

"a blood pact that we all die for each other?" Apollo suggests with a mischievous smile, to which everyone laughs and agrees.

Lily is definitely the most hesitant of the guests at the table, but warms up to sitting between me and Apollo and across from Remus, probably.

when, halfway through our meal, my nose starts bleeding, Peter jokes that it's a side effect of the blood pact. nobody laughs, because it isn't super funny, but nobody worries, either.

Christmas is strange, which doesn't say much, because I have no homework or Quidditch schedules to worry about, but Sirius runs away from home, and there are more disappearances that Esteban has to investigate, despite being a regular employee of the Foreign Affairs and Sports Department while the disappearances are in England and are mostly muggles. but despite the oddity of everything, we get together in Spain for celebrations, and then go home to the States, and then go to Japan, briefly, and then Apollo and I spend New Years at the Potter Manor. I kiss Lily's cheek at midnight, and a few minutes after, before she leaves for her own home, she admits to wishing I was James.

"that's so rude, Lily!" I shriek, but laugh, and hug her before letting her out the door.

"we're just not meant to be, Ar-" she disapparates.

"what'll it be, Artemis? vodka or firewhiskey?" Peter asks when I enter James' loft, where the supposed after party is.

"firewhiskey!"

it's a real after party, between the six of us, but we all end up passing out, and then Apollo steps on Peter's head at six in the morning, who twitches and slaps Sirius in the face, who rolls over on top of Remus, who complains, which wakes everybody up, and we all take turns getting sick in the bathroom and then showering. a real after party.

"thank Merlin Lily went home," James sighs over his oatmeal, struggling not to fall in. his parents are surprisingly understanding of six underage kids chugging firewhiskey and causing a ruckus before waking up and getting sick everywhere. the Potters don’t care much about the mess, but they’re happy we stayed home. 

"we’re never doing this again," I tell them, keeping my voice quiet, but we all flinch anyways, and even more so every time a fork scrapes against a plate or Euphemia turns the sink on.


	10. wrathful

"I was thinking, you know," says Sirius Black on the Christmas Eve after his seventeenth birthday.

"well shit," says I, a mere youngling, but a seventeen year old as well, nonetheless. Sirius rolls his eyes and flips his hair and spins on the ice with his stolen skates. it’s nice to spend time with someone my age again after babysitting the triplets with Oakden, who wheezes and has to take his leg off after mere minutes of tag. and Apollo ran off with Peter and Remus to do some last-minute shopping. 

"I was, thinking," he laughs, and it's brightened by the soft glow of streetlights nearby the pond we've snuck onto. he has a warming charm, but I don't, so he leans and creates long curved lines on the surface of the ice while I shove my hands in my pockets and slide along. "my uncle Alphard, Walburga's brother, left me some gold, as I'm no longer a rich young bachelor of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, but I was his favorite," he continues. 

"one could argue that you are still young and yet ancient," I joke, but smile openly to show that I'm listening. Sirius laughs again.

"i got the idea that maybe with this money, I don't have to live with the Potters anymore." I open my mouth to protest, but he gives me a look. "it's like if you walked into the Ravenclaw tower and set your stuff down when the new term starts. I can't keep freeloading, right?"

"so what did you come up with?" I ask, because he's wrong, but he won't listen, either. I'm too soft, now. hardly get glared at anymore. i guess i stopped caring about hiding and now i just care about staying safe. most of the time. now i guess i care about Sirius, too.

"Diagon Alley, actually, there's a little one-room apartment there and-"

he doesn't continue, seemingly hoping to erase the notion of it as we skate. "and?" I press, anyways.

"well, you work there, so-"

"Sirius Black!" I laugh, and he goes red, which is hilarious, so I laugh some more, and he ducks his head sheepishly. "Harriet's gonna kill us, probably," I tell him, but grab his hand and plant my cold lips on his warm fingers. "I'll probably end up essentially moving in, you know, it's just too convenient."

"that may or may not have been the plan," he shrugs, so I laugh again, and he joins me.

by the end of the summer, it's true. it's sweet. I work at Juarez Sporting Goods by day and hold one Sirius Black by night. but it’s more than either of us expected. 

"mom knows," Carson sings accusingly when I pull up the blinds on the storefront window one morning in late August.

"mom can kiss my romanced ass," I roll my eyes, though I'd never say that in her presence. Carson knows that and laughs loudly.

"oh, by the way, the triplets are starting at Hogwarts very soon, so I need your help finding them junior brooms for Christmas this year. I know, I know, not your forte, but they're so good on the kiddie brooms, I think they can step up this year!"

"Junior brooms last, what, a couple months?" I sigh. Carson gives me puppy eyes, which doesn't work, but I pity his inability to rouse pity and flick through our newest catalog. "though, if what you're saying is true, that's all the time they'll need before the Cleansweep Five," when Carson doesn't answer, i look over with an eyebrow raised. "we have-"

Carson shushes me, face pale. "Artemis, go back to Sirius' apartment. right now, go," he orders, quickly, and pushes me out the front door in the opposite direction of his instructions. when I start to tell him this, he shakes his head. "I love you, Em, okay? tell my family, I love them, too. now, go, take the long way, make sure you're not followed," he insists, and my heart races as I realize what must be happening.

I'm almost around the corner, eyes still on my brother, when the store explodes.

the building just collapses, my eldest sibling vaporized where he stood, and within a few moments, the Dark Mark appears from the settling dust and hovers above what used to be my workplace.

I can't breathe.

"come on, now, it's not even on fire!" someone calls, and I squint to see Evan Rosier's father waving his wand around emphatically.

"yes, sir," my own father, Esteban Juarez, replies, but pauses with his wand pointed at the rubble.

"what, something wrong with your Imperius? how about a little bit of quality life-threatening? you've got an awful lot to lose."

"namely, another seven children, and five grandchildren," says Avery's father, wand already lit with a spell. Esteban sets his son's remains on fire.

tears flooding my eyes, I run before they can look around and see me watching in horror, and collapse in Sirius' arms when he opens the door with a worried expression. "they're gone," I tell him. "my dad, Carson, they're- he-" I can barely string words together. thankfully, Sirius, despite all my opinions from years before, isn't an idiot, and sends a Patronus to Harriet.

"Death Eaters have taken Diagon Alley," he tells the silver dog, who nods and then disappears into mist. Sirius combs nervous fingers through my hair, and I rest my head full of terrifying images against his chest, temple by the tattoo I convinced him to get.

Harriet steps out of the Floo almost immediately and conjures water for me. I gather my thoughts, because I can't just stand and cry with my mother here.

"they have dad under the Imperius Curse, and he-" I stop, scared, but Harriet nods. "he killed Carson. the store is collapsed. Carson- Carson was vaporized, I don't know why he didn't-"

"hey, hey," Harriet shushes me, and Sirius takes a long drink of my water. "let's- Artemis."

her tone suddenly turns more concerned. women have a sense. Sirius leans forward, but doesn't get in her way, because he is definitely not an idiot.

"Artemis," she suddenly gasps, more expressive than usual, "you can't stay here. I'll be waiting in the condo when you're done, I can't tell you where we'll go. but she'll be okay, Sirius, trust me on this." her expression and tone turn grave. "she will be safe."

when Harriet disapparates, I look at Sirius and breathe. he's crying again, and biting his lip like there's a million words he wants to say but he can't quite give me all of them. not in time.

"i don't want you to go," he whispers, and runs his fingers through my bottled elven yellow locks. a tear escapes and then more.

"before- before i do," i look down in shame and then guide him into the one bedroom where i left the muggle pregnancy test on the dresser and he didn't see it yet. "you'll be with me while you stay here and fight."

"Artemis-"


	11. withheld

"ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, mister and missus James Potter."

everyone claps. I smile weakly from the corner of the small room, with two sleeping children on either side of me. you don't just miss Sirius Black's best man speech.

"Prongs, I've got to hand it to you, you are unstoppable," he breathes deeply, and grins, then winks at Lily. "only one of us with true bravery back when we were, what, twelve? bravery, or stupidity, jury's out." everyone laughs. "you've been my best friend, and my brother, since we started at Hogwarts, and I'm glad to know that despite all this, leaving home and us joining the Order and everything that it comes with, the power of you bowing at Lily's feet is stronger than that of a war. I'm proud, buddy, I really am!"

the Order members around the room, the only guests in attendance, in fact, laugh quietly, a dulled murmur. James nods sheepishly.

"James, Lily, I'd die for you, and I'm immensely proud of your efforts for our cause, and your presence in my horrid rebellious years," he finishes. "to the Potters!"

"to the Potters!" echoes around the crowded room, waking Oberon but not Pandora. he starts fussing, which makes me smile, but he falls back asleep after a few moments.

when the music starts up, Harriet slips over to my corner with a slice of cake.

"any news?" I ask her, because even if this is a wedding, I've been in Portugal for nearly a year, hiding with my uncle Ritchie, not hearing anything about the war or my dad. she shakes her head.

"besides, you should go celebrate with your friends. I'll sit with them," she offers, and I smile because it's not surprising that a woman who had eight children herself likes babies.

"after my cake," I compromise, accepting the plate from her. we sit in silence for a few minutes, and Oberon wakes again, so Harriet lifts him out of his carrier and sets him in her lap.

"he looks like you," she comments, to which I roll my eyes.

"he looks like a baby."

"he has your dark eyes, from your father, and Sirius' nose," she tells me. I raise my eyebrows, because as much as people can say "you have your father's jaw" or "you have your grandma's ears" it just doesn't seem that clear to me. I look up and see Apollo laughing at a disco attempt by Peter. "go," Harriet tells me, so I kiss Oberon's forehead and Pandora's cheek and get up, brushing out the wrinkles in my peach colored dress. I'm not wearing shoes, but neither is anyone else, so I figure it's fine.

"Artemis! sweet Merlin, you wear that dress!" Lily calls when she spots me, and Sirius looks up with wide eyes and a bright smile.

"me? look at yourself, madam Potter," I quip, and grin at the group, accepting Apollo's hand. he spins me, and we sway for a few minutes, until James grabs my waist and tugs me away.

"can you believe I'm married? I mean, seriously, this is-"

"serious? or Sirius?" jokes Sirius, because he can't not. I laugh openly, and take his hand to spin him, which he does gracefully. "it's good to see you, gorgeous, and I love the hair, like diamonds," he lifts a strand with a sly smile.

"it may or may not be some pressure for you," I joke, returning his smile. Sirius pulls me close and leans his temple against mine as we sway.

"can I-" he swallows, then kisses the corner of my mouth lightly. i’m not over the gesture, never will be. "can I see them again?" I nod and tug him back to the corner where Harriet stands and offers Oberon for holding. "I wish Oberon was my middle name," he mutters, eyes shining, as he holds his son. Harriet has been more kind than usual, if more distant than usual. it’s always a gamble and a trade with her. 

"I thought it was danger?" she asks, bringing a smile out of Sirius and me. I nod.

"I know I said it last time, but-" Sirius laughs, clearly holding back tears- "his eyes are just beautiful."

"there's a strong case for Pandora," I remind him, and he laughs again.

"you're biased, she's a girl," he argues, but when Pandora blinks her eyes open, we both sit down in front of her. her eyes are gray, but lighter than Sirius', and much less tear-filled for the moment. she watches us, Sirius swaying to calm a frustrated Oberon, me looking between them and resisting my own tears.

"us, soon, yeah?" James asks from behind us, holding Lily's hand. she grins wider than any of us. 

"if there's two, we will never be this happy," she tells her new husband, and Sirius barks a laugh while wiping at his eyes. Pandora blinks at us all and blows bubbles of spit.

"go dance, kids, I've got a lot of experience watching babies," Harriet tells us all, so Sirius gives Oberon back and takes my hand, following James and Lily back to the dance floor. Peter waltzes with Marlene Mckinnon, but otherwise, most of the room is seated for the slow dance.

"I've missed you," Sirius whispers while we sway.

"I'd stay, if it was safe," I whisper back, but we both know it isn't safe in London. Europe, probably, too, but nobody knows where I am, so it's alright.

"I'd go, if I could," he goes on, and I nod, because we both also know that he wouldn't be able to live with himself, letting his best friends save the world without his help.

"I love you, Sirius," I tell him, and when he smiles and returns the sentiment, I kiss him, slowly. i used to dream of this and pretend like it didn't mean anything. 

"I've been writing poetry," he informs me once the party is over and we're sitting with our twins at the Order headquarters. the place isn't silent, nor loud, but the kids are awake, so we enjoy our time with them and each other, however brief. "for you, you know, and obviously I can't mail it, but you'll get it if anything happens to me."

I nod, because that's how things are. "a Shakespeare in training, now?"

"actually, I read Hamlet, so there you go," he replies, proud.

"do you remember any? maybe you could recite some for us," I suggest, wrapping Pandora in a soft blanket. Sirius' eyes light up, and he holds Oberon a little bit closer.

"Doubt thou the stars are fire; doubt that the sun doth move; doubt truth to be a liar; but never doubt I love..."


	12. exacerbated

Artemis Juarez isn't half the mother her own was, even with only a fourth as many kids, but she does try. and in her defense, she doesn’t have any help.

"I have a very rational fear of owls!" Pandora yells, her heavy boots echoing in the halls of their cozy apartment and likely asking for another complaint from their neighbors. Artemis can't really help that, because they can't live in a magical condo like the one she grew up in if she's a squib. in most senses of the word. and also, Pandora makes a damn good argument. 

"wuss," Oberon, Pandora's twin brother, accuses, sliding past Artemis with his guinea pig in hand and fluffy slippers under his feet. "gimme my letter." Pandora hands it over, then focuses on opening her own letter. suddenly she laughs.

"meet the new Slytherin prefect!"

"meet the new Ravenclaw prefect, you mean," Oberon corrects, but then they look up at each other and see that they're both holding badges.

"well, that's terrifying," Artemis mutters, but suggests some treats to celebrate their promotions. "and please, take that badge with a grain of salt. if McGonagall catches you where you shouldn't be, i think she might send us all to see your abuelo."

Pandora laughs again, and tilts her head innocently so her thin dark hair falls into her pale eyes. seeing this, Oberon and Artemis roll theirs, because Pandora's feigned innocence doesn't convince either of them, ever. "I'll keep an eye on her," Oberon points out. his mother smiles softly, then looks between them for a moment.

"I heard you're going shopping with Lee and the Weasleys, is that true?"

"like we'd ever pass up that opportunity," Pandora gushes, but Oberon just nods. "I should call Lee, speaking of which, because he promised me a dragon egg the other day-" heavy footfalls accompany Pandora's exit. in the relative silence that follows, Artemis sits again, but Oberon doesn't move.

"mom," he starts, "uncle-"

"I don't want you to think I mean anything against you whenever I stop you from talking about my brother, but it's really a much more touchy subject than you want, and until- until I don't know when, I really can't talk to you about him, okay?" Artemis interrupts. Oberon turns and leaves quietly. she’s never had any clue how to tell them about the more personal side of why she’s a single mother. they know Sirius is in prison, and she’s told them he was a good man, but she didn’t think anything would change. didn’t think Apollo would do anything. 

the mother leans back, opening Sports Illustrated again and flipping through without reading. her stomach tightens with guilt, but she tries to be a good mom, she really does! her family all but abandoned her after Sirius Black went to Azkaban. Sirius Black, everyone's best friend and the twins' father. Sirius Black, who they all knew was abused, who they fought alongside against evil. Artemis grips the edges of the magazine tightly. her mother let her continue to work at Juarez and sons Sporting Goods, but only for living wage, and without any contact with her immediate family. meanwhile, Apollo is some kind of golden child and teaches Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. frustrated at this thought, Artemis sighs and opens the closest window for some fresh air, only to come face to face with an owl.

Artemis doesn't always blame her daughter for that fear. she holds out a bowl of treats for the owl and exchanges the Daily Prophet for a couple knuts, then goes to close the window again, but pauses when she sees the headline on the front page.

"Escape from Azkaban!"

after reading only the first sentence of the article, Artemis lets it fall out the window.

"mom?"

she turns around and sees her kids, sees sweet Pandora with her silver irises, sees Oberon with Sirius' nose and her father's eyes, sees the children they once were and the young adults they're growing up to be. remembers her friends who cried at the sight of the months-old twins and died a year after having their own child, remembers Sirius stroking Pandora's reddened cheek when he first held her and telling her she looked like Regulus when he was much younger and not as damaged. Artemis remembers dancing with him at Lily and James' wedding and can't imagine any face of his close to the one on the front page of the Daily Prophet. when they were born, she would have given anything for her kids to see their father. now, however, she'd give anything for them to never meet the mess he's become.

"I need a moment," she replies to the kids, instead of outright telling them. Pandora frowns. "dinner tonight is on me, okay? we'll talk then, right? I'm just gonna go," Artemis excuses herself and leaves the apartment to walk to the closest park with more than one tree so she can feel like she can breathe again.

back when she attended Hogwarts, and that fact was in danger, she wanted to fight. she wanted to, but she never did, and then she never fought Voldemort when he was killing her friends and family. so by now, she knows that she isn't here to fight, or be reckless, and she can't fool herself otherwise, anymore. her high school sweetheart probably coming to kill someone- that someone possibly including their kids- doesn't mean she'll be tough enough to stand in his way, as much as she'd like it to, so she has to figure something out before she sends her kids off to school, where they won't be as safe as if she were with them. and dash the idea of Apollo protecting them, because it was Apollo who hasn't seen them since they were infants and tried to confront them only a few short months ago. Artemis thanks Merlin that neither of the twins chose Muggle Studies as an elective, or else he'd have been their teacher for the past two years. dash the idea of Dumbledore protecting them, because it was Dumbledore who stood and smiled while Jax was bullied and driven out of the school for much fewer reasons than Artemis.

Artemis clenches her hands into fists and resists the urge to just run. she never has left her kids, not for longer than an hour, and she never will. but she often wonders how far that rule will go. 

so the mother of twins goes back to her apartment to find her teens reading various magazines, spread across the sofa. "I bought taquitos," she announces, after watching them for a peaceful moment, wishing she were named Harriet instead of Artemis. "let's talk."

Harriet Juarez doesn't mean to cry whenever she sees her grandkids. it's just that they remind her of the war, when Harriet was nothing and the Order was everything. Harriet lost the war, even if the boy named after her won it for everyone. so Harriet, against her role, figures that she raised her kids well enough to raise their kids, despite whatever instincts are telling her to work. she's the reigning matriarch of the Juarez Sporting Goods international chain, but she needs some time to herself, role be damned. she could be a better mother. so could anyone.

she makes excuses until excuses run out, and then she tells herself that she just doesn't care.

Apollo doesn't believe her, but he doesn't have any kids, so what could he know? does he really think Harriet is just like his own twin sister?


End file.
